>> WHICH IS WHY I SAY
THE POTATO IS SUPERIOR
TO THE SPORTS BRA.
>> AND IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE US,
TRY MAKIN' FRENCH FRIES
OUT OF A SPORTS BRA.
>> OKAY, NEXT ON iCARLY,
WE'RE GONNA TALK ABOUT
THE DOORMAN
WHO WORKS IN THE LOBBY
OF THIS BUILDING.
HIS NAME'S LEWBERT.
>> THE MEANEST MAN ALIVE.
>> WE HATE HIS GUTS.
>> AND SO YOU CAN HATE
LEWBERT'S GUTS
JUST AS MUCH AS US...
>> WE ASKED
OUR TECHNICAL PRODUCER, FREDDIE.
>> SAY "YO" TO THE PEOPLE,
FREDDIE.
>> YO TO THE PEOPLE.
HOW Y'ALL DOIN' OUT THERE?
>> THAT'S ENOUGH, FREDDIE.
>> ANYWAY, WE'VE BEEN
SECRETLY VIDEOTAPING LEWBERT
FOR ALMOST A WEEK.
>> SO LET'S TAKE A LOOK
AT SOME OF THE HIGHLIGHTS.
>> FREDDIE, ROLL THE CLIP.
>> PLAYBACK.
>> OKAY, AND THERE'S LEWBERT
SITTING AT HIS DESK.
JUST A NASTY LITTLE MAN
WORKIN' IN THE LOBBY.
>> AND IF YOU LOOK REAL
CLOSE, YOU CAN SEE HIS WART.
ZOOM IN ON IT, FREDDIE.
>> DIGITAL ZOOM.
THERE IT IS, LIVING
HAPPILY RIGHT ON LEWBERT'S FACE.
I CALL THAT WART
LITTLE LEWBERT.
>> ZOOM OUT. OOH.
OKAY, SEE THAT LADY?
WATCH WHAT HAPPENS.
>> OUT!
>> I JUST NEED TO CHECK MY MAIL!
>> NO DOGS IN MY LOBBY!
>> I WILL LEAVE IN A MINUTE!
>> NOW!
>> YOU KNOW WHAT?
I PAY RENT IN THIS BUILDING!
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE
TREATING US LIKE THIS!
>> HE'S ARGUING
WITH A POMEGRANATE.
>> POMERANIAN.
>> WHATEVER.
>> OKAY, OKAY.
NOW WATCH LEWBERT CLOSELY.
SEE THAT LITTLE KID
WITH THE BALLOON
RIGHT NEXT TO HIM?
>> MOMMY,
THAT MAN ATE MY COOKIE!
>> YOU TOOK MY SON'S COOKIE?
>> NO! NO WAY!
HOW DARE YOU!
>> YOU ARE SO CRUEL!
>> YOU'RE EVIL.
>> YOU HAVE CRUMBS
FALLING ALL OVER YOUR FACE
AND ALL OVER MY FACE.
SECURITY, THAT MAN
TOOK MY SON'S COOKIE.
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT?
>> SEE WHAT HE DID?
>> DID YOU SEE THAT?
AS YOU CAN SEE,
LEWBERT'S A BAD PERSON.
>> NOT A GOOD DUDE.
WHICH IS WHY WE'RE INTRODUCING
A NEW SEGMENT ON iCARLY,
WHICH WE CALL
"MESSIN' WITH LEWBERT."
>> AND THERE'S LEWBERT, LIVE.
>> I'LL DIAL
THE LOBBY DOWNSTAIRS.
>> MAIN LOBBY.
>> AAH!
>> AND THAT CONCLUDES
THIS SEGMENT OF...
"MESSIN' WITH LEWBERT."
>> WHO IS THIS?!
>> AAH!
>> IN FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO.
* I KNOW YOU'LL SEE,
SOMEHOW THE WORLD
WILL CHANGE FOR ME
AND BE SO WONDERFUL,
LIVE LIFE, BREATHE AIR,
I KNOW SOMEHOW
WE'RE GONNA GET THERE
AND FEEL SO WONDERFUL,
IT'S ALL FOR REAL,
I'M TELLING YOU
JUST HOW I FEEL,
SO WAKE UP THE MEMBERS
OF MY NATION,
IT'S YOUR TIME TO BE,
THERE'S NO CHANCE
UNLESS YOU TAKE ONE
AND THE TIME
TO SEE THE BRIGHTER SIDE
OF EVERY SITUATION,
SOME THINGS ARE MEANT TO BE,
SO GIVE ME YOUR BEST
AND LEAVE THE REST TO ME,
LEAVE IT ALL TO ME,
JUST LEAVE IT ALL TO ME *
>> WHAT UP, MY PEEPS?
>> WOW, THAT GREETING
WAS UNCOOL IN SO MANY WAYS.
>> YEAH?
WELL, UNCOOL IS THE NEW COOL.
>> WOW, THAT COMEBACK WAS UNCOOL
IN SO MANY WAYS.
>> ALL RIGHT,
YOU KNOW WHAT, SAM?
>> WHAT, FREDDIE?
>> I AM A HUMAN BEING,
AND I DESERVE RESPECT!
>> YOU DESERVE A BRAIN!
>> AT LEAST I HAVE A BRAIN!
>> OH, NO,
YOU DON'T HAVE A BRAIN.
YOU HAVE NO SENSE--
WHAT DID YOU JUST DO?
>> WHAT WAS THAT?
>> OH, SEE, WHEN YOU HAVE A CAT,
THAT'S HOW YOU GET THEM
TO STOP MISBEHAVING.
YOU JUST SPRITZ 'EM
WITH SOME WATER.
>> WELL, YOU CAN'T DO THAT
TO US.
>> WE'RE NOT CATS.
>> YEAH, JUST PUT
YOUR LITTLE BOTTLE--
>> SPENCER, DINNER TIME.
YOU GUYS STAYIN' FOR DINNER?
>> YEAH, I GOT NO PLACE TO GO.
SURE, THANKS.
>> I'M HERE.
OOH, ONE SEC.
SO WHAT'S FOR DINNER?
>> WE'RE HAVING
MY SPECIAL SPAGHETTI.
>> YEAH!
>> NICE LOOKIN' MEATBALLS.
>> HEY, YOUR GUYS' WEB SHOW
WAS PRETTY AWESOME TONIGHT.
I LOVED HOW YOU ZOOMED IN
ON LEWBERT'S BIG OL' WART.
WONDER WHAT'D HAPPEN
IF YOU SQUEEZED THAT THING.
YOU THINK SOME KINDA
LEWBERTY GOO
WOULD SQUIRT OUT OF IT?
>> I JUST WISH WE COULD GET
MORE PEOPLE WATCHIN' THE SHOW.
>> THE SAME NUMBER OF PEOPLE
WATCHED iCARLY THIS WEEK
AS LAST WEEK.
>> THAT'S THE PROBLEM.
OUR SHOW'S GETTIN'
BETTER AND BETTER SO MORE PEOPLE
SHOULD BE WATCHING IT.
>> WHY DO YOU GUYS CARE
HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE WATCHING?
>> WHY DO WE CARE?
>> YOU'RE AN ARTIST.
WHEN YOU CREATE A NEW SCULPTURE,
DO YOU WANT TWO PEOPLE TO SEE IT
OR DO YOU WANT
TWO MILLION PEOPLE TO SEE IT?
>> TWO MILLION.
>> SO, IDEAS?
>> YEAH. YOUR SPAGHETTI
COULD USE MORE GARLIC.
>> I THINK CARLY'S SPAGHETTI
IS GREAT.
>> THEN WHY DON'T YOU PUT SOME
DOWN YOUR PANTS?
>> BECAUSE MAYBE I DON'T WANT
TO PUT PASTA DOWN MY PANTS!
MAYBE YOU SHOULD JUST TRY--
>> ALL RIGHT, LOOK.
WE ALL KNOW
THAT MAKING A GOOD SHOW
IS IMPORTANT.
>> AND SO IS GETTING MORE PEOPLE
TO WATCH.
>> SO WHAT IF WE EACH COME UP
WITH A COOL WAY
TO GET MORE PEOPLE TO WATCH?
>> YEAH.
>> AND THEN WE SHOW OUR IDEAS
TO THE iCARLY AUDIENCE.
>> AND WE LET 'EM VOTE ON
WHO CAME UP WITH THE BEST IDEA?
>> RIGHT, LIKE A CONTEST.
THAT WAY WE DO A GOOD SHOW
AND GET MORE VIEWERS.
>> I'M ON CARLY'S TEAM.
>> WHOA. TEAMS?
SHE SAID "EACH."
AND WHY DO YOU GET
TO BE ON CARLY'S TEAM?
>> 'CAUSE "EACH" SOUNDS
LIKE A LOT OF WORK.
>> RELAX, BUDDY.
I'LL BE ON YOUR TEAM.
>> SERIOUSLY?
>> YEAH, I GOT TIME.
>> YOU'RE NOT STILL DATING
THAT GIRL?
>> NAH, SHE ONLY LIKED ME
FOR MY SOCKS.
>> THAT'S WEIRD.
>> IS IT?
>> WELL, OKAY THEN.
WE'RE PARTNERS.
>> PARTNERS.
>> PERFECT.
SO IT'S ME AND SAM
VERSUS FREDDIE AND SPENCER.
THE TEAM WITH THE BEST IDEA
TO GET MORE VIEWERS WINS.
>> OKAY.
BUT I THINK THE TEAM THAT LOSES
SHOULD HAVE SOME PENALTY.
>> HASN'T LIFE
ALREADY PENALIZED YOU ENOUGH?
>> THAT'S FOR BEING MEAN.
>> IT WAS WORTH IT.
>> ALL RIGHT,
COME ON, WHAT SHOULD THE LOSERS
HAVE TO DO?
>> I'M GONNA SAY LOSING TEAM
HAS TO...TOUCH LEWBERT'S WART.
>> YEAH! I MEAN, AWWW...
>> HEY, FREDDIE!
>> OW! MAN!
>> WHATCHA DOIN'?
>> BLEEDING. WHY ARE YOU HERE?
>> WE ARE GONNA WIN THE CONTEST.
I CAME UP
WITH AN INSANELY AWESOME WAY
TO GET MORE PEOPLE
WATCHING YOUR GUYS' WEBCAST.
>> TELL ME.
>> WE GET A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS,
RIGHT?
AND NOT THE LIGHTWEIGHT,
CONSUMER-GRADE STUFF.
I'M TALKIN'
FOURTH-OF-JULY RAZZLE-DAZZLE.
>> RAZZLE-DAZZLE?
>> YES, BOTH.
THEN, AT NIGHT,
WE LAUNCH THE FIREWORKS
OFF THE ROOF OF OUR BUILDING,
AND THEY EXPLODE,
SPELLING OUT "iCARLY.COM"
IN THE SKY.
>> CAN WE REALLY DO THAT?
>> NO!
SO I CAME UP
A SIGN.
>> A SIGN?
>> A BIG SIGN!
ONE THAT LIGHTS UP,
ALL DIFFERENT COLORS AND SAYS,
"PLEASE GO ONLINE
TO iCARLY.COM."
>> YEAH, YEAH, THAT'S GOOD.
AND WE SHOULD HANG IT
SOMEPLACE LIKE, UH...
LIKE OVER A REALLY BUSY HIGHWAY.
THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE WILL SEE IT
WHEN THEY DRIVE BY.
>> YOU ARE A TINY GENIUS.
>> WELL, WELL.
LOOK WHAT THE JANITOR SWEPT UP.
SPENCER SHAY.
I THOUGHT I'D SEEN
THE LAST OF YOU EIGHT YEARS AGO
WHEN YOU GRADUATED.
BUT SADLY YOU'RE BACK.
>> NICE TO SEE YOU, MISS BRIGGS.
OR NOW THAT I'M OLDER,
MAY I CALL YOU MARGARET?
>> YOU MAY NOT.
>> WHY?
>> MY NAME IS FRANCINE!
NOW GET OUT
BEFORE I GIVE YOU DETENTION!
>> I'M 26.
YOU CAN'T GIVE ME DETENTION.
>> THEN I GIVE YOU DETENTION.
ONE WEEK.
>> WHAT?
>> YOU DON'T SCARE HIM.
>> YES, SHE DOES!
>> GET OUT!
>> NO!
>> TWO WEEKS DETENTION!
>> DUDE, GET OUT OF HERE!
>> NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, WAIT.
I AM NOT LETTING THIS LADY--
>> SPENCER SHAY, YOU HAVE
30 SECONDS TO LEAVE,
OR ELSE FREDDIE GETS EXPELLED.
>> GOOOO!
>> I GOT IT.
I GOT IT.
>> YOU THOUGHT OF AN IDEA
FOR THE CONTEST?
>> NO.
YOU REMEMBER, AT LUNCH,
THAT PIECE OF CORN
I GOT STUCK IN MY TEETH?
>> NO.
>> WELL, HERE IT IS.
>> AND THANK YOU
FOR FLICKING YOUR USED CORN
ONTO MY FLOOR.
NOW GIVE ME THAT.
YOU GOTTA HELP ME THINK
OF AN IDEA.
>> ALL RIGHT.
RIGHT AFTER WE WATCH
SEATTLE BEAT.
>> NO.
>> PLEASE?
>> NO, WE'RE NOT.
>> OH, COME ON.
WE'RE WATCHING SEATTLE BEAT.
>> NO, WE'RE
NOT WATCHING A SHOW.
>> OKAY, FINE.
>> YAY.
>> OKAY, YOU MAY LIKE
THE OLD DRUMMER BETTER,
BUT I STILL SAY
THEY'RE THE BEST BAND
HAPPENIN' IN SEATTLE TODAY.
AND TO PROVE IT,
YOU'RE GONNA SEE 'EM RIGHT HERE
ON SEATTLE BEAT LIVE, COMIN' UP
IN LESS THAN A HALF HOUR!
IS THAT COOL?
WHOO!
WHOO.
>> AND HOW 'BOUT YOU PEOPLE
OUTSIDE THE SEATTLE BEAT WINDOW?
>> I GOT IT.
I KNOW HOW WE'RE GONNA GET
A TON MORE PEOPLE
TO WATCH OUR WEBCAST.
>> DOES IT INVOLVE DENTAL FLOSS?
>> NO, WHY?
>> I THINK THAT PIECE OF CORN
HAD A FRIEND.
>> LISTEN.
YOU SEE THOSE PEOPLE
OUTSIDE THE WINDOW
ON SEATTLE BEAT?
>> YEAH.
>> YOU AND I
ARE GONNA MAKE A BIG BANNER...
>> I ENJOY BIG BANNERS.
>> AND WE'RE GONNA TAKE IT DOWN
TO SEATTLE BEAT AND HOLD IT UP
RIGHT IN FRONT OF THAT WINDOW
FOR THIS WHOLE CITY TO SEE.
>> THAT'S BRILLIANT.
EVERYBODY WATCHES SEATTLE BEAT.
>> UH-HUH.
>> WELL, SAY THANK YOU.
>> WHY? I THOUGHT OF IT.
>> YEAH, BUT I THOUGHT
OF WATCHING TV.
>> LET'S JUST GO
MAKE THE BANNER.
>> ALL RIGHT,
LET'S BANNER IT UP.
OKAY, OKAY! I'M COMING!
I'M GOING UPSTAIRS!
>> HURRY. IT'S ABOUT TO RAIN.
>> I'M RIGHT BEHIND YOU,
AND IT'S ALREADY RAINING.
>> COME ON.
PARDON ME. I'M REALLY SORRY.
>> STEP ASIDE HERE!
WE'RE FROM THE INTERNET.
WE JUST NEED TO GET THROUGH
RIGHT NOW.
>> SORRY.
>> SO JUST MOVE, YEAH.
>> HOLD IT UP HIGH!
>> LET'S SPREAD THE WORD, BABY.
MOVE! WE'RE FROM THE INTERNET!
>> GET READY, SEATTLE!
* SPIN, SPIN, SPIN AROUND *
* SPIN, SPIN, SPIN AROUND,
SPIN, SPIN AROUND *
>> YEAH! WHOO!
* SPIN, SPIN AROUND,
SPIN, SPIN, SPIN AROUND *
>> AND IF YOU LIKED
WHAT YOU JUST HEARD,
YOU CAN CATCH THAT BAND LIVE
AT THE SHOWBOX NEXT WEEKEND.
THAT SIGN IS MESSED UP.
>> AWW!
>> WE'RE GONNA HAVE
TO TOUCH LEWBERT'S WART.
>> OKAY,
I GOT THE GROUND WIRE ATTACHED.
LET'S SEE IF WE GOT
A HOT CIRCUIT.
>> NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
>> WHY NO? SEVEN TIMES.
>> UM, 'CAUSE YOU'RE A CHILD,
AND THIS IS HIGH-VOLTAGE STUFF,
AND YOU'RE NOT EVEN WEARING
SAFETY GOGGLES.
SEE, YOU GOTTA BE EXTRA CAREFUL
WHEN YOU'RE--
AAH!
AND THAT IS WHY WE WEAR
SAFETY GOGGLES.
DO I SMELL BARBECUE?
>> NO, THAT'S MY BURNING FLESH.
>> WHAT'S THAT?
>> SOGGY BANNER.
OUR PLAN TO GET MORE VIEWERS
DIDN'T GO TOO WELL.
>> YEAH, LIKE HOW THE TITANIC
STAYING AFLOAT
DIDN'T GO TOO WELL.
>> OH, COME ON.
MAYBE A FEW PEOPLE READ OUR SIGN
BEFORE THE RAIN RUINED
ALL OUR HARD WORK
AND MADE US SAD.
>> YEAH. WE COULD STILL WIN.
>> YEAH, I DON'T THINK SO.
I THINK ME AND SPENCER
ARE GONNA WIN,
AND YOU TWO ARE GONNA HAVE
TO TOUCH LEWBERT'S WART.
I FEEL BAD FOR YOU, CARLY.
NOT FOR YOU.
SORE LOSER.
>> YOU HAVEN'T WON YET.
>> WHAT ARE YOU GUYS
PLANNING TO DO?
>> OH, YOU'LL FIND OUT.
>> NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE US,
WE HAVE A CONTEST TO WIN.
NO OFFENSE, CARLY.
>> COME ON, LET'S GO DRY OFF.
REMEMBER, iCARLY
GOES LIVE IN THREE HOURS.
>> WE'LL BE READY.
>> TO WIN.
STILL NO OFFENSE, CARLY.
>> ALL RIGHT, KID,
HELP ME GET THIS PUPPY DOWN
TO THE LOBBY.
>> OKAY, BUT THEN
I GOTTA COME BACK UP HERE
AND HELP GET READY FOR THE SHOW.
>> I UNDERSTAND.
>> WHO'S THAT?
>> IT'S MY BUDDY WITH THE TRUCK.
ARE YOU DOWNSTAIRS?
OKAY, WE'LL BRING IT
DOWNSTAIRS THEN.
ME AND YOU CAN LOAD IT
ON THE BACK OF YOUR TRUCK.
OKAY, DOWN IN FIVE.
NOW LET'S GET THIS SIGN
ON THE ROAD.
FREDDIE! YO, FRED-O!
>> HELP...ME.
>> OKAY, ON OUR LAST WEBCAST,
SAM AND I TOLD YOU
TO GO TO iCARLY.COM
AND CLICK THAT FEEDBACK BUTTON.
>> AND, MAN, YOU PEOPLE
CLICKED ON THAT SUCKER
LIKE IT WAS YOUR JOB.
>> SO FIRST,
WE WANNA SAY THANKS.
THANKS!
>> AND SECOND, WE WANNA SHOW YOU
A VIDEO CLIP SENT IN
BY THREE iCARLY VIEWERS
FROM DENVER, COLORADO.
>> FREDDIE, PLAY THAT CLIP.
>> SOME PEOPLE
MIGHT SAY "PLEASE."
>> YEAH, I DIDN'T.
>> PLAYBACK.
>> HEY, CARLY AND SAM,
WE LOVE YOU GUYS' WEB SHOW.
>> LOVE IT!
>> YEAH!
>> OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.
WE GOT AN IMPORTANT QUESTION
FOR YOU.
CAN YOU DRINK
SPAGHETTI AND MEATBALLS?
>> SPAGHETTI--
>> SPAGHETTI AND MEATBALLS.
>> OKAY, WE HAVE NO IDEA
WHY THAT GUY IN THE MIDDLE
WAS WEARING A BUNNY SUIT...
>> BUT IT DID
GET OUR ATTENTION.
CAN YOU DRINK
SPAGHETTI AND MEATBALLS?
>> WE GON' FIND OUT.
>> OKAY, WE INVITED
THE LITTLE BOY
WHO LIVES TWO FLOORS DOWN
TO COME UP HERE
AND BE OUR LITTLE TESTER.
>> SO GET OUT HERE, EMMETT!
>> YEAH!
THIS IS EMMETT.
HE DOESN'T TALK MUCH.
>> ISN'T THAT RIGHT?
SEE?
>> LUCKILY, EMMETT WILL EAT
OR DRINK ANYTHING, SERIOUSLY.
ONE TIME SAM DROPPED A QUARTER,
EMMETT ATE IT.
>> I GOT IT BACK
THREE DAYS LATER.
>> OKAY, EMMETT, WE WANNA KNOW,
CAN YOU DRINK
SPAGHETTI AND MEATBALLS?
>> SO FIRST,
WE TAKE THIS SPAGHETTI...
>> AND THE MEATBALLS.
YOU GOTTA LOVE SPHERICAL MEAT.
>> WE PUT IT IN THE BLENDER.
>> THERE WE GO.
>> READY?
>> AND WE PRESS FRAPPE.
>> YA READY, KID?
>> GO FOR IT.
>> AND THERE YOU HAVE IT.
>> YOU CAN DRINK
SPAGHETTI AND MEATBALLS.
>> NOW GET OUTTA HERE, EMMETT,
YOU CREEP ME OUT.
>> YES, YOU CAN HAVE THE REST.
OKAY.
NOW WE'RE GONNA DO SOMETHING
WE'VE NEVER DONE BEFORE.
>> TELL US WHAT IT IS, CARLY.
>> WE THOUGHT IT'D BE FUN
TO HAVE A CONTEST.
>> ME AND CARLY
AGAINST OUR TECHNICAL PRODUCER,
FREDDIE...
>> WHO TEAMED UP
WITH MY OLDER BROTHER SPENCER...
>> TO SEE WHICH TEAM
COULD COME UP WITH THE BEST IDEA
TO GET MORE PEOPLE
TO WATCH iCARLY.
>> SADLY, OUR PLAN
DIDN'T GO TOO GREAT.
>> CHECK IT OUT.
>> AND IF YOU LIKE
WHAT YOU JUST HEARD,
YOU CAN CATCH THAT BAND
AT THE SHOWBOX NEXT WEEKEND.
SO BE SURE--
THAT SIGN IS MESSED UP.
>> AWW!
>> OKAY, OBVIOUSLY,
THAT SIGN WON'T BE GETTING US
ANY MORE VIEWERS.
>> OUR PROJECT FAILED.
AWWWWW!
>> BUT LUCKILY,
WE WEREN'T THE ONLY ONES
WITH A PLAN THIS WEEK.
>> SO LET'S GO
TO MY BROTHER SPENCER
LIVE ON A REMOTE CAMERA
TO TELL US
ABOUT HIS AND FREDDIE'S IDEA.
>> OKAY, GOING TO SPENCER LIVE.
>> HEY, SPENCER,
HOW'S IT GOIN' OUT THERE?
>> WHAT'S UP, SPENCE?
>> SPENCER?
>> UH...HELLO?
>> PUT THE TACO DOWN.
>> ARE YOU THERE?
>> CAN HE HEAR US?
>> YEAH, HE SHOULD BE ABLE TO.
OH. TRY NOW.
>> HEY, SPENCER!
>> AAH!
HEY, CARLY, SAM.
YOU GUYS OWE ME HALF A TACO.
>> YEAH, SO TELL US
WHAT YOU'RE PLANNING TO DO
OUT THERE.
>> WELL, I'M CURRENTLY STANDING
BY THE INTERSTATE
NEAR THE LUMFORD ON-RAMP
IN DOWNTOWN SEATTLE,
AND AS YOU CAN SEE,
THERE ARE LITERALLY MANY CARS--
OOH, I'LL SHOW YA.
LITERALLY, MANY CARS PASSING BY
EVERY MINUTE,
WHICH MAKES THIS
THE PERFECT PLACE TO HANG
A GIGANTIC, LUMINESCENT SIGN
LIKE THIS.
BEHOLD, THE SIGN!
ARE YA BEHOLDIN' IT?
>> OH, WE'RE BEHOLDIN' IT.
>> AND SINCE WE'RE GOOD SPORTS,
I HAVE TO SAY
THAT SIGN DOES DESERVE A--
>> GOOD JOB, SPENCER.
YOU, TOO, FREDDIE.
>> THANK YOU, CARLY.
IN YOUR FACE, SAM.
>> CARLY, SAM,
YOU CANNOT UNDERSTAND
HOW AWESOME THIS SIGN
LOOKS FROM OUT HERE.
IT IS SO DAZZLINGLY BRIGHT,
I SWEAR IT'S LIKE--
[TIRES SQUEALING,
CAR CRASHING]
>> WHAT'S GOING ON OUT THERE,
SPENCER?
>> WELL, IT SEEMS OUR SIGN
IS SO BRIGHT AND DAZZLING,
IT DISTRACTED
ONE OF THE DRIVERS BELOW.
ACTUALLY, TWO OF THE DRIVERS--
THREE OF THE--
LITERALLY,
MANY OF THE DRIVERS BELOW
ARE BEING DISTRACTED
BY OUR EXTREMELY DAZZLING SIGN.
>> QUICK! TURN IT OFF!
>> TURN IT OFF!
>> OH, OKAY, I WILL NOW TURN OFF
THE SIGN!
>> THAT'S NOT "OFF"!
>> SPENCER!
>> DUDE!
>> OH, MAN,
I AM PRESSING THE BUTTONS!
LITERALLY, ALL OF THEM,
TRYING TO TURN OFF THE SIGN!
>> YOU'RE GONNA OVERLOAD
THE CIRCUITS!
>> "PEE ON CARL"?
>> TURN THAT OFF!
>> I AM TRYING!
IF THE STUPID CARS WOULD JUST--
DON'T LOOK AT THE SIGN!
STOP BEHOLDING THE--
I STEPPED ON MY TACO!
>> WAIT, WAIT,
AND READ THIS ONE.
>> INSANE.
>> UNBELIEVABLE.
>> I KNOW, CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS?
>> I SAID, "UNBELIEVABLE."
>> OH, I'M SORRY,
I THOUGHT YOU SAID
YOU WERE DOOFY AND ANNOYING.
>> ALL RIGHT,
ONE MORE COMMENT LIKE THAT--
>> TRY NOT TO KILL EACH OTHER
WHILE I GET THE DOOR.
>> HE BELONG TO YOU?
>> YES, SIR, HE'S MY BROTHER.
>> THANK YOU, OFFICER.
DO YOU HAVE ANY LOTION?
>> NO!
NOW, I'M LETTING YOU OFF
WITH A WARNING,
BUT THE NEXT TIME YOU CAUSE
ONE OF THE WORST TRAFFIC JAMS
IN SEATTLE HISTORY,
YOU WILL GET ARRESTED.
>> I THINK THAT SOUNDS FAIR.
>> WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?
PUTTIN' UP A SIGN
TELLIN' PEOPLE TO PEE ON CARL?
>> IT--IT WAS
A TERRIBLE MISTAKE,
OFFICER...CARL.
WELL, THAT--
>> AND JUST SO YOU KNOW,
I DID HAVE LOTION.
MMM, CUCUMBER MELON.
>> THAT WAS WEIRD.
>> YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT.
>> WEIRD STUFF.
>> ANYWAY, I'M SORRY I KINDA
RUINED YOUR WEBCAST TONIGHT.
>> YOU DIDN'T.
>> COME HERE.
>> WHAT?
>> WE WERE JUST READING
THE COMMENT BOARDS.
LISTEN TO THIS ONE...
"THE SPAGHETTI IN THE BLENDER
"MADE ME L-O-L,
"BUT I SWEAR,
"WHEN YOUR BROTHER'S BANNER
"SAID 'PEE ON CARL,'
I ALMOST PEED MYSELF."
>> NOW READ THE ONE BELOW IT,
ABOUT SEATTLE BEAT.
>> OH, YEAH. UM, HERE.
"CARLY, LOVED SEEING YOU AND SAM
"ON SEATTLE BEAT.
"SORRY ABOUT THE WET BANNER,
"BUT THAT WAS HILARIOUS.
"I'M GONNA FORWARD THAT CLIP
"TO EVERY KID IN MY SCHOOL.
ROCK ON, iCARLY."
>> SWEET.
HOW MANY COMMENTS LIKE THAT?
>> TONS.
>> PEOPLE ARE LINKING TO US...
>> TELLIN' THEIR FRIENDS.
>> OKAY, SO WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
WE ALL FAILED MISERABLY
TRYING TO GET YOU GUYS
MORE VIEWERS FOR iCARLY,
AND YET IT IS PRECISELY
THOSE MISERABLE FAILURES
THAT ARE GETTING YOU GUYS
MORE VIEWERS FOR iCARLY.
>> THAT'S IT.
>> RIGHT.
>> INSANITY.
>> OH, HEY, AND
WE ALMOST FORGOT THE BEST PART.
>> YEAH?
>> WHAT?
>> SINCE ALL OF US PRETTY MUCH
LOST THE CONTEST,
NONE OF US HAVE TO TOUCH
LEWBERT'S WART.
>> OH, YEAH.
>> THAT'S GREAT.
>> WELL, THEN I SAY,
LET'S GO GET US
SOME LOW-FAT CHEESELESS
VEGETARIAN PIZZA!
>> AND SOME
CUCUMBER MELON LOTION?
>> PLEASE.
>> HEY, GUYS, I LOVE iCARLY.
NOW WATCH ME PICK MY NOSE
WITH MY TOES.
* TA-DAH! *
>> MMM!
[CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY
PEOPLESUPPORT